Possibly somewhat incoherent...

It's always weird for me when I make the transition from student life to school life and my life goes from somewhat disciplined (which takes a lot of focus to achieve) while in school to pretty much anything goes when I'm not having to be at math class five days a week at 10am. I'm psyched to be done with school. I think I can finally say that for the very first time on my blog, I'm done with my Associates! Man, it was a long-ass time to get to where I am now.
I really appreciated that school gave me some direction, it wasn't usually the direction I wanted at the time but I wouldn't change things in hind-sight. I learned a lot about writing and math, most of which I've since forgotten... The writing part is something I've realized I need to keep fresh cause when you stop using a skill it tends to die an inglorious death somewhere in some neuron which might never receive another electric signal again. I'm trying to read more as well but computer games and the internet sure do their best to distract me from picking up a book. I really want to read more Haruki Murakami. I never would have known who he was if it wasn't for my brilliant Turkish English teacher, Yesho. I was forced early on to pick and author from a list of authors whose names, I'm ashamed to say I recognized few of, so naturally I picked the Japanese author. I chose well, quite well indeed. I really enjoyed reading his book, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles. There were a lot of WWII historical references I really liked from the Japanese perspective relative to their invasion of Manchuria. Murakami's style is usually fictional but often-times based off of fact as well, as in this case.
I've been going back and forth trying to decide what I want out of a four year university and so far all I can honestly say from my heart is to race bikes. I've been invited to race at Mars Hill University (They just dropped their title of "college" for the upgraded "university" status) and I would be very excited to race for them. They have one of the best division two collegiate teams in the whole United States! That would be a great honor to be part of that. Of course along with attending Mars Hill comes the huge costs of tuition. I would technically only have two years left to foot money for but it would cost me somewhere between twelve and eight thousand dollars a year to go there which is the cost after FAFSA. It's a lot of money and I'm not sure what I want to study. I've always enjoyed history and I'm almost to the point of just saying, "Fuck it, it's a bachelors, and that's what's most important to me now" but I'm not usually one to make rash decisions and this definitely falls into that category. I guess my goals are still to teach English in Japan though that goal has become blurry due to my new ambitions with cycling.
I really want to race at the highest level of the sport of cyclocross, I'd be ok with being at the bottom of that prestigious barrel, I guess maybe I just want to say I was there, I don't know. It's such a beautiful sport, so many cool people having fun, not taking things too seriously yet still laying everything out on the line. Fall is by far my favorite season with the crisp cool air and that's another reason why I appreciate cyclocross since it is a Fall and Winter sport.
I suppose the conclusion to everything I've said so far is that I have no idea what I want... I need to pursue cycling more aggressively if that's really what I say I want and I need to pursue school more aggressively, pick my grades out of the figurative horse shit and take things more seriously or at least come to a decision.